Developing self-awareness is the foundation of executive presence for women
Self-awareness isn’t just about knowing yourself—it’s about understanding how your emotions influence your decisions and actions. In fact, self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence (EQ), a crucial skill for leaders we’ll cover in our next blog. EQ allows you to connect with others, build strong relationships, and foster a supportive and collaborative work environment.
As a leader, when you’re aware of your own emotions, you can regulate them effectively, avoiding reactive decisions in high-pressure situations. Moreover, this emotional awareness helps you understand the feelings of others, enabling you to lead with empathy and insight. This deep connection to both yourself and your team is what sets apart leaders with strong presence from those who simply hold authority.
The Power of Feedback and Reflection
Self-awareness doesn’t just happen—it’s cultivated through intentional practices like feedback and reflection.
Seeking honest feedback from trusted colleagues, mentors, or even team members is a powerful way to deepen your self-awareness. It’s often difficult to see ourselves objectively, so inviting input from others helps to identify blind spots and areas where we might be misaligned with how we want to be perceived.
TIP: Try asking for feedforward rather than feedback, a process made popular by Marshall Goldsmith. Here's how you do it. Instead of asking for general feedback:
Describe your goal simply and clearly, ask for suggestion.
Ask for two suggestions, encouraging creative ideas.
Listen carefully and make note of the suggestions.
Say 'thank you.' Nothing more. No excuses or justifications.
Personal reflection is another critical tool for building self-awareness. Taking time to reflect on your day, your decisions, and your interactions allows you to notice patterns and behaviors you might otherwise overlook. Practices like journaling or meditating on key moments in your leadership practice can provide valuable insights that guide you toward becoming a more present and intentional leader.
What Gets in the Way of Self-Awareness?
Despite the benefits, there are common obstacles that can cloud our self-awareness. Three of the most pervasive are imposter syndrome, inner critics, and limiting beliefs.
Imposter Syndrome: The Silent Saboteur
Imposter syndrome, or the feeling that you don’t truly belong in your role despite your accomplishments, is a common challenge for women in leadership. When you feel like an imposter, it’s easy to lose touch with your true strengths and start doubting your worth. This insecurity can cloud your self-awareness, leading you to second-guess your decisions and hold back from fully embracing your leadership potential.
Imposter syndrome often whispers, "You’re not good enough," even when your achievements say otherwise. Overcoming this involves recognizing those feelings for what they are—distortions—and consciously reframing them. Remind yourself that your position, achievements, and capabilities are well-earned, and that everyone, even seasoned leaders, experiences moments of self-doubt.
Inner Critics: The Voices that Hold You Back
Most people have an inner critic—that critical voice in your head that tells you you're not enough, you're doing it wrong, or you’re bound to fail.
But for some women, this inner critic can be particularly harsh, making it difficult to recognize and own their strengths. These voices distort self-perception and can prevent you from embracing growth opportunities or taking bold steps in your leadership journey. Or they can push you harder and harder until you have little left for any other aspect of your life.
The key to overcoming your inner critic is learning to manage it rather than letting it dictate your self-perception.
One helpful strategy is to recognize when that critical voice is speaking and challenge it. Take a pause and ask yourself, "Is this thought helping or hurting my growth?" Often, reframing negative self-talk into constructive insights can help you move forward with greater clarity.
Limiting Beliefs: The Unseen Barriers to Growth
Limiting beliefs are powerful, often unconscious ideas that shape how we see ourselves and our potential. Common limiting beliefs like “I’m too much” or “I must do it all on my own” can hold us back in surprising ways.
These beliefs create rigid, self-imposed rules that make it difficult to fully embrace who we are and reach out for support when needed. For example, believing that “I’m too much” might lead you to downplay your ideas or avoid situations where you’d naturally shine, for fear of overwhelming others.
Similarly, the belief that “I must do it all on my own” can prevent you from seeking support or collaboration, even when it would help you succeed.
These beliefs distort self-awareness by creating a narrow view of what’s possible. Instead of recognizing your full capacity or accepting help, you reinforce behaviors that limit your growth.
The first step to identifying a limiting belief is to question whether an unspoken belief may be at play. Look for patterns of behavior that reflect this belief. Have you created a life where you seldom need to ask for help? Or are your contributions overlooked, perhaps because you hold back? Recognizing these patterns can reveal a hidden limiting belief influencing your actions.
If you sense that limiting beliefs may be at work, it can be helpful to check in with a coach familiar with the unique beliefs many women hold. A knowledgeable coach can help you uncover and question these beliefs, allowing you to replace them with a more empowering perspective that aligns with your growth and values.
Building Self-Awareness for Stronger Leadership
Self-awareness is a lifelong practice, but it’s also one of the most valuable skills you can develop as a leader. By tuning in to your emotions, actively seeking feedback, and learning to quiet the voices of doubt, you’ll build the confidence and clarity needed to strengthen your leadership presence.
Here are a few steps you can take to start building greater self-awareness today:
Create a Reflection Routine: Set aside time each week for personal reflection. Whether through journaling, meditation, or simply quiet thought, reflect on how you showed up as a leader, what you did well, and where you can improve.
Seek Out Feedback (or Feedforward): Ask trusted colleagues for feedback on how they perceive your leadership. What are your strengths? Do they have creative suggestions for you? Approach this feedback/forward with an open mind and a willingness to learn.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk and Unspoken Limiting Beliefs: When you notice these contributors creeping in and undermining you, take a step back and ask yourself if these thoughts are aligned with the reality of your skills and accomplishments.
By building your self-awareness, you strengthen your executive leadership presence and position yourself to lead with greater empathy, insight, and resilience. As you grow in your understanding of yourself, you’ll find that your ability to lead others—while maintaining balance in your personal and professional life—will flourish.
If you’re ready to embrace authentic leadership and uncover and transform limiting beliefs, let’s talk.
Book a complimentary Breakthrough Brainstorm Session today to discuss your leadership challenges, uncover new opportunities, and start building the self-assurancee to lead authentically.
Stay Tuned for Our Next Post: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
Now that we’ve explored the power of self-awareness, we’ll take a closer look at emotional intelligence and how it allows leaders to navigate challenges with empathy and insight. Stay tuned for our next post, where we’ll explore strategies for enhancing emotional intelligence and building even stronger connections with those around you, including those who wish you led differently.
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