What If Burnout Is Just a Symptom? The Deeper Ache for Wholeness

Is It Burnout—Or Is It Misalignment?

Burnout is a serious clinical condition. What I’m speaking to here is the broader experience many women describe as “burnout”—that quiet depletion, that sense of running on empty, even when nothing looks wrong on the outside.

And here’s what I’ve seen again and again: What we often call burnout isn’t always about doing too much. Sometimes it’s about doing too little of what truly nourishes us.

It’s the toll of self-abandonment in the name of success.

And for many women in leadership, this ache shows up quietly—behind the competence, the composure, the relentless capacity to hold it all together.

What If Burnout Isn’t the Real Problem?

When women come to me saying they’re burned out, I listen carefully and assess. Is it workload, a toxic environment, or is it alignment? 

• What are you doing that feels like a slow leak on your energy?

• Where are you consistently overriding what your body or intuition is telling you?

• How long have you been performing who you need to be in order to be taken seriously?

Because burnout doesn’t always begin with exhaustion. Sometimes it starts with a quiet betrayal of your own truth—repeated until it becomes the norm.

Take Ana (not her real name). She spent two decades climbing inside a male-dominated industry. She had the title, the influence, the reputation—and yet, every Sunday night, dread crept in.

When we unpacked it, the issue wasn’t time management. It was soul management.

She was operating in a system that rewarded her results but diminished her voice. She had become so skilled at staying credible that she no longer knew what it felt like to be congruent.

She wasn’t broken. She was misaligned.

The Hidden Cost of High Capacity

Here’s the paradox: the more capable you are, the longer you can function in misalignment without crashing.

High-capacity women often carry the burden well—until their body or spirit forces a reckoning.

That reckoning can look like:

• A health scare

• A sharp drop in motivation or creativity

• A growing sense that “success” feels more like a trap than a triumph

  
  

But here’s the thing:

Burnout is not the enemy. It’s the messenger. And what it often reveals is a deeper ache—an ache for wholeness.

Wholeness that says:

• Leadership shouldn’t require leaving parts of yourself behind

• Your rhythm should feel sustainable, not just survivable

• Authenticity matters more than constant adaptation

The Wholeness You’ve Been Longing For

Let’s talk about wholeness. Not as perfection, but as integrity.

As internal coherence. As that grounded sense that your actions, values, energy, and leadership are in alignment.

Wholeness doesn’t mean you always get it right. It means you’re no longer splintering yourself to keep the peace, meet the mark, or fit the mold.

You’re not trying to prove your worth—because you’re operating from it.

In my own leadership journey, the biggest shifts didn’t come from strategy tweaks. They came from permission.

The permission to slow down. To listen. To lead from presence, not just performance.

It wasn’t linear. It looked more like an unlearning: of urgency, of invisibility, of silent endurance.

And that’s what I want to offer here—not a to-do list, but a hand on your shoulder saying: You don’t have to do it that way anymore.

The Body Doesn’t Lie

One of the ways we begin to track misalignment is through the body.

You might notice:

• You’re always bracing

• Your breath stays shallow, even when sitting still

• You collapse at the end of the day, not from activity but from holding it all together

These are not random symptoms. They are your body’s way of speaking.

The nervous system isn’t just a stress gauge—it’s a wisdom source.

When your inner compass keeps pointing away from your current way of operating, it’s time to listen. In The Balance Catalyst, I teach a practice called the Energy Audit. It’s a simple yet powerful inventory:

• What gives you energy?

• What drains you?

• What feels contractive—even if you’re good at it?

Patterns start to emerge. And with them, possibility.

From Holding It All Together to Coming Home to Yourself

What if the real work of “preventing burnout” isn’t about managing more efficiently—but about choosing more honestly?

For many women, burnout stems not just from what they’re doing, but from how much of themselves they have to suppress to keep doing it. It’s not just the pace, it’s the performance. Not just the demands, it’s the dissonance.

And that’s why rest, while essential, isn’t the only answer. Because true recovery doesn’t come from time off alone, it comes from realignment.

That might look like:

• Reclaiming your voice in rooms where you’ve gone silent

• Redefining success on your terms, not someone else’s

• Designing rhythms that match your values and energy, not only your title

This is the deeper work of leadership. The work of coming home to yourself.

Your Turn: A Check-In

If you’re feeling burned out—or quietly worn down—try this check-in:

• Where am I operating from obligation instead of alignment?

• What part of me have I been sidelining in order to be seen as “successful”?

• What would feel more true—even if it feels unfamiliar?

Then ask: What’s one small shift I can make this week to honor that truth?

Not everything has to change at once. But something honest can begin.

Because what you’re feeling isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. And what you’re longing for is wholeness.

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If you’re noticing the signs of misalignment and longing for a different way forward, this is exactly the kind of work we do in The Balance Catalyst—a self-paced, with support along the way, designed to help high-achieving women reset, reclaim alignment, energy, and rhythms that feel true.

Learn More Here>

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This post is part of Unlearning to Lead: Reclaiming the Way Forward for Women in Leadership—a blog series exploring the invisible rules many women carry, and what it takes to lead from authenticity instead of adaptation.

Linda Rhoads coaches high-achieving women, drawing from over 25 years of leadership, including confidential executive advising and Chief of Staff roles. As a certified executive coach (PCC), she empowers women to move beyond self-doubt, cultivating leadership presence and sustainable rhythms for fulfillment.

✨ Discover how to lead and live on your terms. 

Connect with Linda on LinkedIn or visit The Soul Spot for more insights.